Do I Have a Drinking Problem? The Quiz I Took To Find Out and What Happened Next

Hi, this is Suzanne, and welcome to Holy Recovery, a podcast for believers recovering their lives from the chains of addiction. Whether you're new to recovery, hoping to start, or have been walking this journey for years, welcome. You're among friends who get it. I get it. Now on to today's episode and your weekly biblical shot of hope, encouragement and truth. I hope you enjoy it. Hi and welcome. This is Suzanne. So tough topic today, but one that can save your life. Do you have a substance problem, a drinking problem, a problem with food or gambling, or pain pills or porn, do you? The fact that you're listening to this podcast is a clue. I tell my recovery story on an earlier episode, but I spent 10 years addicted to pain medicine and finally broke that dependence. Then I spent another 10 years drinking wine. I was warned to stop drinking alcohol after that first decade, but I thought I knew better and that I could handle it. I couldn't, though I tried very hard, even if we know in the secret place in our heart that, houston, we have a problem. It isn't easy to say it out loud, even to ourselves, and maybe especially to ourselves. Acknowledging a problem changes things. It's so much easier just to ignore it. I pretend everything is fine, even when we know for a fact, if we're honest, that things are far from fine. It's a process. Years ago, I took a quiz about whether I had a drinking problem. I don't remember why exactly I took the quiz that day, but I did, and I really took the quiz to convince myself I didn't have a problem. Slaid plans and spoiler alert. People taking quizzes about whether they have a drinking problem probably do. Normal drinkers, people without substance use disorder, don't take those quizzes. Anyway, here's the quiz. Have any of these taken place within the last year? Had times when you ended up drinking alcohol more or longer than intended More than once, wanted or tried to reduce or stop drinking but couldn't. Spent a lot of time drinking or being sick from the after effects. Wanted to drink so badly you couldn't think of anything else. Found that drinking or being sick from drinking often interfered with work, family or school duties. Continue to drink alcohol even though it was causing trouble with your family or friends. Given up or caught back on activities that were important, interesting or pleasurable to you in order to drink More than once. Gotten into situations while or after consuming alcohol that increased your chances of getting hurt, such as swimming, driving, using machinery, continue to drink alcohol even though it was making you feel depressed, anxious or adding to another health problem, or, after having a memory blackout, had to drink much more than you once did to get the effect you want, or found that the usual number of drinks had much less effect. Found that, when the effects of alcohol were wearing off, you had withdrawal symptoms such as trouble sleeping, shakiness, restlessness, nausea, sweating, racing heart or a seizure, or sense things that were not there. Yes, yes, yes. I answered yes to all of them. According to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, the number of yeses determines a level of alcohol use disorder. A patient who answers two to three questions in the affirmative is considered to have mild alcohol use disorder. Those who cite four to five are moderate cases. Those who confirm six or more are believed to be severely affected by their alcohol consumption. I had 11 yeses, every single one of them 11. I was, in fact, severely affected by my alcohol consumption. Did I quit drinking after this eye-opening quiz? No, I didn't. I closed my eyes. Instead, people struggling with addiction are masters at justification, so I tucked this quiz away in my mind and ignored it. I wasn't ready to face the reality of my addiction just yet. It would take me a few more years of heartache and misery to face it, and even then I didn't really want to. God stepped in and did it for me. So no, I didn't stop drinking after that quiz, though I should have. So how about you? How many yeses did you have? I think the second question is the most telling. More than once have you wanted or tried to reduce or stopped drinking, but couldn't? Lots of people who are normal social drinkers have drank more than they wanted at some point and felt badly afterwards, but have any of them tried to reduce or stop and couldn't? I think that's the truth teller right there. Have you ever tried to stop using and couldn't? I did many times and I couldn't, and sometimes I think I just didn't want to. There was definitely a time in my life where I was in angry denial and had no intention of stopping. One time my husband got frustrated with me for something related to my drinking and I quit for a few days. Apparently, back then I could quit for a few days without health issues. That was not the way it was. At the end, anyway, trying to be encouraging, he told me how proud he was of me, and boy did that make me mad. Poor guy, poor guy. I remember snapping at him, telling him it wasn't forever. I felt like he was trying to take away my precious and I wasn't having that. Bless my little addicted heart. I knew I was being unreasonable and unfair, but I wasn't ready to stop. I was not ready, but I did eventually stop, and I'm so happy I did. I look back at my life then and all I can see is how sad and sick and afraid I was. My life revolved around one thing and had shrunk so much. I didn't have a life where God keeps making my dreams come true. I had a very small life and it's truly amazing to me how much my life has changed since. I've been in recovery in every good way. So where are you? Maybe you already know you have a problem, have come to terms with it and are in recovery or working on it. If so, good job. I know how hard that is, but we can't fix what we won't admit. But boy, that is not easy, is it? If you're still trying, I get it. Maybe today is the day you start to get your life back and start to recover who God intends you to be. Maybe today is the day you start to heal and get healthy again, and that's the wonderful thing. If you're alive, there's hope. You're listening to this podcast. God gave you a divine appointment today and you kept it. He brought you here for a reason. Say yes to him. If you're ready to stop, the next steps look different for everyone. You may need medical help to stop. I did. Quitting cold turkey can be dangerous and even deadly. It's one of the hardest things you'll ever do. But, for the sake of your life, ask for help if you need it. There are programs like AA and Celebrate Recovery that can offer immediate support. There are rehabs and treatment centers to help. There is prayer and a father just waiting to step in and wrap you up in his arms. If you're ready to recover, I'm so proud of you. You will never for one single day for the rest of your life, regret it, not one. You will look back and think why did I wait so long? You will have a dividing line in your life the before and the after. There's nothing we can do about the before. It is what it is, but the after can happen today. You can draw that line in your life now and start living your after. This very second. Is recovery hard work? Yes, it is, especially at the beginning. There's no magic pill. There's no way except through it. Can you do it? Yes, you can. Every single person listening to this can do it, no exceptions. You can. If you will, I have a resources page on the website that might help with some initial steps. If you're part of a church, reach out to someone there, your pastor or an elder. Don't be too ashamed to ask for help. I know that is a hard one. There's so much shame wrapped tightly around addiction. It smothers us. But don't let that stop you. Swallow your pride and fear and ask for help. Ask a friend you trust. People want to help. There are so many people who want to help you on this journey. You just need to connect with them. During the worst of my act of addiction, there was a woman in my church that obviously had anorexia. I remember looking at her and feeling so sad for her. Her addiction showed in obvious ways and I felt sorry for her. I could see she wasn't well. We moved to another town, but I never forgot her and after I got into recovery I looked her up to see how she was doing. And she had died. That beautiful young soul had died. Her addiction had won. And I still think about her. I think about her sitting in the pew every Sunday, actively dying, and no one helped her. I mean, maybe they tried and she wouldn't let them, but still, I don't know her story. But I do know she's gone and she shouldn't be. You shouldn't be so, please. If you know you have a problem, reach out to someone. If you can't do it locally, reach out to me. You can email me through the contact form on the website at holyrecoverycom, or email me directly at Suzanne with an S-S-U-S-A-N-N-E at holyrecoverycom. Don't let the addiction win. There is a glorious, happy, healthy life waiting for you. You just have to take the first step towards it. So come on, take that step. You are worth it and we need you here. I am so endlessly grateful that God had me call a friend in the middle of a blackout and tell her I had a problem. I don't remember doing it. I don't know why I even picked that particular friend. She was someone I used to go to church with and I wasn't really in that close of contact with her anymore, but God knew who to pick. I have no idea what I even said to her. God had been telling me for years to quit and I wouldn't, so he stepped in and started the process for me. I'm still amazed by that. It changed my life. That friend came to my house and sat with me all night. When I came out of the blackout, she was sitting on my bed and we were reading the Bible and I thought what is going on? What is going on? Then the next morning, here comes another friend, a friend who had been sitting in church listening to the sermon when the Holy Spirit told her to leave immediately and come to my house because I was in trouble. And she did and I was. She called her husband, who called my doctor, who was a friend of mine. They called my husband, who was on a business trip across the world at the time, and I suddenly had a lot of unwanted and unasked for help. People started showing up offering help. My secret problem was no longer secret and I could not go back to the way it was and, honestly, I was so tired and exhausted with it all by that time I didn't really want to. My recovery date is September 11th 2016. The day that changed my life completely, the line in my life the day that God delivered me. He will do the same for you. If you're in trouble, today's the day to ask for help. I'll be cheering you on every step of the way. I'll see you next time. Thank you so much for listening to today's episode of Holy Recovery. If you enjoyed it, I would love if you would take a moment to review, rate and subscribe. Wherever you listen to your podcasts. That helps others find the show and I really appreciate it. I'll be continuing the conversation over on our socials, so come join me. Links are in the show notes. Thanks again for being part of our community here. It means the world to me. I'll see you next time.